Some days, I really hate my body. Not just the general shape of it. I admit it. I'm fat. I need to lose weight. But that's not why I'm upset tonight.
I have fibromyalgia. Team that with bad hips and bad knees from the Army, and you have a recipe for pain that comes at least once a week. Take today for example. I had worked out twice this weekend. I was feeling good. I had planned on going back on the treadmill today after work, hopefully before supper. That didn't happen. At about lunchtime today, my left knee started aching and by the time I went home, was so sore I could barely put any weight on it. Stupid me, I had left my Aleve and Advil bottle at home. By the time I got home, the pain was shooting down my leg into my ankle and through my toes. There was no way I was going to work out tonight. So I didn't. I can only hope that tomorrow my body will be less inclined to fight me when I tell it that we need to work out.
Now, I don't do a lot. I walk on the treadmill at a good pace. Sometimes I get on the bike for 30 minutes or so until my butt falls asleep. I don't lift weights, don't go crazy with the elliptical. I don't go nuts because I know my body and its limitations. 2 days in a row of working out is not my limitation. I know I can do better and I know that later this week, I'm not going to have a chance to work out because of a booster club meeting.
I don't take medication for the fibromyalgia because my quality of life is pretty good right now. I can go to work and to my son's dance classes. I know when my body needs a rest. Maybe in the future, this disease will become bad enough that I will need medication to function. I was almost to that point when I was in the Army. My pain was so bad that I went to work, then I came home and went to bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. But that's not my life today and I really hope it is not my life in the future.
So, here's hoping that tomorrow I can bend my knee again and I will be able to go on the treadmill or bike and get some resemblance of exercise in this week.